The Joy of A Coffee Break

Should I feel guilty that I enjoy my time at the office and find my role as a working woman to be a little bit more fulfilling than my role as a mama and housewife? I really don’t know the answer to this hard question; all I know is that I love my husband and adore my children. I truly do enjoy cooking for them, tidying up their mess and making sure that all their needs are met. Yet once I set foot in my office and get into my white coat, I am a totally different person. I look in the mirror and a serious, yet content, face looks back at me.

Overload

There is no logical explanation for the way I feel, but I am sure many of the working mamas out there feel the same way. When a woman agrees to get married and makes the decision with her partner to have children, she knows deep down that she is sacrificing a huge part of herself. She knows that she will change a lot— physically, mentally and emotionally; and, above all, she knows that all the members of her family and her home will be her responsibility; no longer will she have to be responsible for only herself. Maybe this feeling of

being overloaded all the time explains my feelings toward my work. At the office, I am ME—me and nothing but me. While this might be considered a bold, daring confession and some might even give me a stern look and utter a “tsk” or two of disapproval, it does not change how I feel: as demanding as any job might be, it can never be as demanding as the combination of responsibilities toward your husband, children and home.

A respite

Please don’t get me wrong; I am neither miserable at home— in fact, I am very happy—nor ecstatic at work. But it is the sense of freedom that makes work more appealing than the responsibilities of home. At home, your heart, mind and body are working full force all the time. A sick child will drain you emotionally; a sleepless night with a crying infant will drain you physically; and there is no need to even mention the loads of things that drain you mentally, even in your sleep. On the other hand, when you are at work, you put your heart aside and your mind is occupied with the job at hand; and whatever physical activity is required of you at work, it can never be compared to the physical effort you put in at home, especially if—like me—you don’t have house help.

Being rushed at work takes your mind off the trivial matters that occupy a huge part of your multifunctional brain. A dispute with your husband will seem trivial when you stop thinking about it, preoccupied with work and, by the time you get back home, you will have calmed down; work offers you the chance to get a break from the small fights between your kids that so often irritate you; and the full laundry basket can’t defiantly stare back at you when you are at the office. Basically, when you are at work, the part of your mind that is responsible for your household will switch off, for just a short while, giving you some well-deserved relief.

A sacred break

One thing I enjoy tremendously at the office is the morning coffee break, which I spend with my colleagues. That first half hour is incredibly relaxing—it is a way to unwind, to sit back and to recharge, preparing me to face the rest of the day.

During this half hour, we laugh at our children’s antics; we catch up with the office gossip; and we complain about our husbands’ shortcomings. It is the time for us to get a load off our chests by talking about the concerns on our minds. This beautiful time is sacred to me; in fact, most of the inspiration for my articles comes from my office coffee break.

Things to remember

- Being a working woman is part of your identity, just like being a mama, a wife, a daughter-in-law or even a sister.

- Enjoying your time with your colleagues and having a laugh or two during your coffee break is healthy.

- Taking the smile that you share with your colleagues home with you will make your family smile as well!

- Taking domestic problems to work and vice versa, is not good. It may be difficult, but it makes matters a lot easier if you can manage it.

 - When waking up at the crack of dawn and wishing you could turn over and go back to sleep and envying full-time mamas, remember that they probably envy you and your job as well. Not only do you have somewhere to go every day, but you are also financially independent—things that some of us take for granted.

- Appreciating any help your spouse offers at home is a must. If he also has a full-time job, he probably wants to unwind when he gets home; lending a hand and taking the children to their activities is an indication that he loves you and appreciates the role you play both outside the home and in

-  Getting your ‘ME’ time during the week is important, try your best to dedicate the weekend to your family by doing fun stuff together—the memories will be cherished by you all.

- Burying yourself in your work is not a good idea—an overworked mama is a very tired mama.

- Giving up that cup of coffee with your friends is a no-no; it is the fuel that keeps your engine running smoothly.